i had the most wonderful time yesterday with sd xxx
we walked and walked and found the spot to spend a bit of quiet tome together,,,
and how perfect it was,,in the middle of bushes where no one can see us,we laid there holding and touching each other ,,,kissing making love,and wow the way we wanted ;)
yesterday i was a bag full of emotions and unfortunately took my guard down and let myself stray
away from the real situation of it all....
i surprised him a bit i think but i feel he knows,he knows too well how i feel....and the worst thing is i couldnt hide it!!!! i made the mistake to ask him the one thing i shouldnt...
he knows and he kindly explained it to me or lets say told me gently that if i fall how will i feel knowing he wont be able to catch me???
then i was caught offguard...it is the moment where you feel there are alot of things you want to say but you cant say even if it is all there because you know that you can say them...and even if you do,what good will it do?
i tried to stop myself from those tears that came out,,,but i couldnt,he saw it and held me tight,no words were said for a while and for the brief moment i felt,yes i am human after all...
all these time of being hard on myself with all these goings on in my life,this is not what i expected myself to behave specially to someone i have an agreement with...a clear agreement,,,and i am afraid i am disappointing him for being the way i was yesterday,,,i was foolish to break that agreement by how i behaved...
i closed my eyes and calmed myself,,,telling myself how foolish i have been,,,
but then i let it slip away and tried to enjoy every moment of my time with him,,,,
as i closed my eyes,the sun on my face,i felt the breeze gently calming me down,,,
for a moment he was holding me,,,i imagined the smell of vanilla of the sweet smell of coconuts like we were somewhere else,,,i can hear the birds from a distance but all was just locked there in that small place were we were like nothing else mattered,,,the clear blue skies,as i opened my eyes he was there,,,and looking up i saw a plane with a trailblazing tail after it,,,if it was night time it would have been a shooting star but in the day ....parakeets flying around...my pendant of two hearts and his initial...
we were touching,smelling making love yet again like we cant get enough of each other,,,he whispered to me how perfect everything is except it is all wrong....
i felt the same he felt,it was so good being with him,,,but why?
.....
all i know is for that moment there were two people letting themselves give in to each other,letting ourselves be caught in that brief moment of bliss...
perfect blue sky...
perfect place...
enough time for us to be just the 2 of us....
the perfect person i wont trade for anything...
laughing at the moment everytime that helicopter pass us by haha...we wonder what they think seeing us down there 'oh they are at it again!!!!' ;))))))
he said he felt truly magical like he was so light he was like dreaming....i am happy to make him feel that way,,,
as we walked,he pointed to me the deers lazing in the sun,as we walked back i pointed to him the stag shading under the tree,and it was gazing at us following us with his gaze until we were too far,,,and yes if there werent people walking around too if there were a couple more species of animals like a chimpanzee or maybe a zebra,,,it must be like this in africa....xxxxxx
the sun on my skin...his hand holding mine,,,,his kisses and his smile his smell were intoxicating....
in that brief moment i was in this world...another world that is entirely him...
i was truly happy even if i was a girl in the pedestal.... xxxxx
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